I've noticed that wounded women feel very uncomfortable with the "softer" sides of themselves...as if they don't even know who they are in that capacity. I believe the feminine parts of us are often submerged under cycles and cycles of repeating negative experiences. Constant reminders of how we don't measure up, aren't "good enough" and being de-valued by the ones that we put our trust and love into.
I have several Pinterest boards that I've collected over the past 11 years. They are my happy place and where I deposit all of my visions of a different life, ideas of what I want my home to look like, the things I surround myself with and so on. One of my boards is all about fashion and certain "looks" I am attracted to... Sort of my "try it on" board. Much of my "look" is classic neutrals and that "easy pulled together" look that really isn't so "easy". It takes some planning and thought. Planning and thought, but it also takes a mind and body that has the confidence to pull the look off. It takes a mindset to wear these clothes and actually feel comfortable in them. Confident, comfortable and own them.
When I went deeper with this observance of the emotions surrounding feeling feminine, I realized I had many of my own questions that needed to be answered. Why as a wounded woman, is it so hard to allow ourselves to be soft? Why is it such an awkward feeling and why does it seem so hard to call her out? What causes me to feel like an imposter in my own body? Is it because of our belief - our story that we are everything BUT feminine? Past actions and behaviours that were far removed from anything soft and nurturing? Being in an environment that necessitated survival hardness and the constant over-processing of the "W-H" questions:
Where did I go wrong?
What did I do wrong?
How did I get here?
Why does this always happen to me?
When is this ever going to end?
We become so exhausted from dodging all the debris of toxic/abusive stories that we forget ourselves and become more and more detached from our true selves - the beautiful and unique soul that we ARE.
So how do we get back to the space of owning our feminine? How does one break free of all these layers of hardness and find that power within that defines us as female? Sometimes we are so disconnected from ourselves the thought being anything different repulses us. We have this subconscious narrative in our heads that anything remotely feminine means we are weak and vulnerable...we are "prey" so-to-speak. Like some beautiful creature left unprotected and surrounded by wolves. The answer my friends, absolutely resides within us. It's called "MINDSET" and it is a powerful weapon to those who know how to use and control it.