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The Discomfort of "Feminine"

Writer's picture: C.A. Yaél  LewisC.A. Yaél Lewis



Many find themselves estranged from their softer, more feminine sides after enduring cycles of negative experiences. These experiences, marked by feelings of inadequacy and devaluation by trusted loved ones, often lead to the submersion of one's innate femininity beneath layers of pain and self-doubt.


Consider the concept of personal spaces of joy and vision, like a collection of Pinterest boards, where aspirations for a different life, home aesthetics, and personal style are curated. These boards become more than just a collection; they represent a vision of oneself that might feel distant or disconnected due to past wounds. The classic, effortlessly chic styles many aspire to embody aren't just about the clothes themselves but the confidence and mindset required to truly "own" them. This confidence often feels out of reach for those who've been made to feel perpetually inadequate.


Delving into these feelings reveals deeper questions about the challenge of embracing softness and femininity. The discomfort, the feeling of being an imposter in one's own skin, can be overwhelming. It often stems from a narrative that equates femininity with vulnerability, a narrative forged through past actions and environments that demanded a hardened exterior for survival.


The relentless introspection and questioning that accompany these feelings—wondering where things went wrong, why certain patterns recur, and when the cycle will end—only add to the fatigue, pushing one's true essence further away. This detachment from the authentic self, a unique and beautiful soul, becomes a significant barrier to healing and self-acceptance.


So, the journey back to embracing one's femininity and inherent softness is not just about shedding physical layers of protection but about challenging and transforming the internal narrative. It involves recognizing that femininity is not synonymous with weakness but is a source of inherent strength and uniqueness. Changing this mindset is not an easy path, but it is possible with intentional effort and self-reflection. Embracing one's femininity means redefining it on one's own terms, moving beyond the subconscious equating of softness with vulnerability, and finding strength in the very traits that make one distinctly female.


The path to reclaiming this part of oneself lies within, through a shift in mindset. This powerful internal tool can redefine what it means to be feminine, turning it from a perceived liability into a celebrated aspect of one's identity.

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